The trouble is that even if you have duct tape on your mouth, your fingers can still type.
Overblown Weather Reports
by Augusta Wynde
“I don’t think anybody should feel bad that they get weak when there’s an excessive portion in front of them, because the problem is the excessive portion, not them.”
Um. Who’s in charge of opening your mouth and putting stuff into it?
Apparently skinny jeans are putting a damper on sales of Depends.
Google just told me that I sent 3,599 emails in 2015. No WONDER I’m so busy. Makes me want to take a nap.
How to drive Wisconsinites nuts
Say Rio like this: ree-oh. It’s pronounced rye-oh
Say Antigo like this: an-tee´-goh instead of an´-ti-go
Pronounce the q in Chequamegon
tray-goh. Nope. It’s tree-goh. And spelled Trego. Not spaghetti sauce
Say trip´-oh-lee instead of trip´-oh-lye. This is Wisconsin, not Libya
Say mug-wahn-uh-go instead of muk-wahn-uh-go. Note the K in Mukwonago. Sorry. No G in that first syllable.
Course if you’re from Milwaukee, you never use the L. mwau´-kee. 2 syllables. Only outsiders say the L in Milwaukee
Prounounce Shawano = shaw-wahn´-noh. Nope. 2 syllables. shaw´-noh
Eee-clare. Although there are eclairs in Eau Claire.
Just north of Eau Claire is Chip-wah Falls. People from Chippewa seldom say ew. Say chip-eew-wah enough times, you’ll likely get a pop in the nose.
If you’re not originally from Wisconsin, don’t even attempt Lac Courte Oreilles, which names a lake, a People, a town and a lot of other things. Just say LCO. It’s easier. If you’re looking to drive your favorite Wisconsinite nuts, just make an attempt at all those R’s and E’s and L’s and see what happens.
Bohners Lake has been so contentious that real estate people actually pronounce it wrong when trying to sell property there. There’s an obvious reason for this.
Careful of the people of Lodi. They’re pretty touchy about hearing load-ee.
Add a spare syllable to Weyerhaeuser sort of like why-er-houz-er and you won’t be too popular. ware´-houz-er
I’ve tripped over how-gen more than once and been corrected. haw-gen for Haugen.
Oulu. And you thought I was making these up. Not owl-loo. Just oo-loo.
poh-kee-gam´-a would certainly drive us nuts. It’s poh-keg´-e-mah
We really like confusion, so we pronounce the X in Crex Meadows, but leave it out of St. Croix Falls.
Tree´-ver is a good one, too. Just try saying Trevor with a short E and see what happens.
You could always put the accents on the wrong syllables like this:
What their moms called them:
Orv and Bill Wright
Everyone should start the day with a wiener dog video.